Taking a Break from “Blackness”
10.22.07
NEWSFLASH -- A few weeks ago, I drove to a friend’s job to pick him up for lunch. He’d barely settled into the passenger seat before he uttered an exhausted sounding, “I’m taking a break from being black today.”
“What?” I asked pulling away from the curb. I couldn’t have heard him correctly. This is a young brother who works with college students in Southern California and he makes it his business to stay abreast of politics and current events concerning students on multiple campuses. One of the best things about him is his social awareness. So I figured my ears were playing tricks on me.
“I said I’m taking a break from blackness today. Can we just go to lunch and chill?”
“Sure,” I responded.
“Good. I’m glad I can be real with you. A lot of people would not know how to take that statement.”
His initial statement stayed with me long after I'd dropped him off. Could someone take a break from blackness? Why would you even want to? In retrospect, I realized this was during the initial flurry of anger surrounding the Jena 6 (at least on the West Coast). In communities, but especially on college campuses across the nation, people were supposed to wear black. They were also encouraged/obligated to attend meetings. The rape of Megan Williams and the fury for her case being sidelined in the media were also prevalent issues and there were meetings/gatherings/protests to attend on that as well. Within a week, consciousness over a fresh crop of injustices surrounding African Americans was flowering. There were more shootings and killings by police and civilians, more outlandish sentencings and in Palmdale, a black girl had just been expelled from school after being arrested by a security guard for not picking all of the birthday cake she dropped on a cafeteria floor. (My guess is that she did it with an “attitude,” which was why he took her down like she was in a correctional facility rather than a high school.) The “list” was growing by the hour. More than protesting, meeting and discussing injustice, everyone was supposed to get angry and stay angry. My friend’s daily schedule was booked with these kinds of events and as a staff member, it was his duty to be supportive. The unspoken rule is that as an African American staff member, he was also expected to be one of the loudest, omnipresent voices opposing these injustices. Therefore, it was imperative that he be well versed in all the relevant background information of each occurrence. Otherwise, he was slippin’. When he got in my car, I believe he just needed a moment to take a mini-vacation from it all.
While he used the words “take a break from blackness,” I believe he meant taking a break from the fury. Essentially he was saying that he needed a minute to not be fully aware that at every moment and at every hour our people are experiencing injustice in this country which demanded our ancestors’ presence and after it spilled their blood, expected them and all of their descendents to quietly lie in it. I can already hear someone saying that this is not limited to black people. The rape and assault of women is generally reported in seconds. The same can be said of burglaries, hate crimes on people of Middle Eastern descent, child abuse and on and on and on. This is all very true, but it doesn’t cancel out or mitigate the black experience. While our particular brand of American injustice is one of many, it is still ours and therefore owned by our collective consciousness.
So I rephrased the question for myself. As an aware African American, can you take a break from being conscious of collective black victimization and injustice? Can you truly have moments when you are not aware of your race and the role it plays in your life? I’m going to venture a “hell yes.” Yes, we can and yes we do take breaks from blackness on a daily basis. I know some modern day revolutionaries who would argue otherwise. One told me that he’s never taken a break since he decided to be a true watchdog and advocate for his people and our interests in this country. I highly doubt this.
When my friend got into my car he was talking about a break from participating in the conscious black experience. To me this translated into him not wanting to be angry during lunch and eat his food without chewing on the rage that is black consciousness. The reason he felt he could not make his statement in the open was that it would offend protesters and other event organizers. But why should it? People decide when they are going to be activists and college students, for I was one not so long ago, make and unmake this decision more than most.
How, I wondered, could organizers of a rally for Megan Williams be upset if he didn’t opt to attend? What other “conscious” events had they forgone for finals or more sleep or a latte? Let’s take it off the college campus. Working adults forward emails that encourage action when they feel something is important. The same people who won’t attend a rally about the Jena 6 are the ones who expect their friends to show up when black students at their son’s high school are being unfairly punished. To be frank there is and has always been so much shit going on that we are always choosing to “forego blackness” on several issues and gross miscarriages of justice. And, like all people, we choose what will prompt us from rage to action. The problem with my friend was that he was expected to be a witness and enthusiastic participant at several different “decisions” and “demonstrations of black consciousness.” And he was just tired.
When I conveyed these thoughts to someone else I got an odd statement in return.
“Well, I don’t know about your homie, but the Jena 6 can’t take a break from blackness or whatever you want to call it. Neither can some woman whose mourning her son being murdered by the police or gangs. Some of us don’t get to take breaks.”
I can’t speak for all those mentioned, but sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we are forced to be conscious because we were slippin’ in the first place. Still, the statement was interesting and valid. This was a more literal interpretation of the statement. This person was saying that people couldn’t take a break from being treated negatively for being black. That’s different than taking a break from black consciousness. How? Well, we determine when we will tune in our consciousness for a cause or belief. But we are not in control of how others react to our blackness and I’d venture to say that you don’t take a break from that – not even around your own people. That’s because it’s not up to you.
So I suppose the larger answer to the question is “yes” and “no.” Can you take a break from blackness? Yes, you can take a break. But take it with the understanding that anyone for any reason can end your break time. Even during times of extreme misery for others, we have our personal moments of joy. People take an afternoon break from protesting to watch their sister become the first or even the tenth person in the family to graduate from high school or college. The most hardcore revolutionary will emerge from running their organization to recognize when a good friend or someone they’ve mentored has managed to turn their life around. And so we take figurative and literal vacations. Most black people will tell you that to visit another country is the first time that were treated strictly as Americans, and thus were able to view themselves as such. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break and taking advantage of other people putting in work so that the movements, marches and battles continue while you gather yourself and take some time to just deal with the drama of being human.
But be careful. As I said, any one for any reason can have break time cancelled. Picture yourself taking a break from “it all” and listening to the sounds of Stevie Wonder as you cruise down the scenic Pacific Coast, no doubt singing along. (Yeah, we’re taking it back.) Yes, he’s black, but at the moment you’re just enjoying the lyrics of his song that are about a man and a woman. And then you look up. Red and blue lights. That damn beep and the knowledge that it’s you who needs to pull over. It could just be a routine traffic stop, but they are more "routine" for some members of society than for others. If you grew up where I did, certain images and stories flash in your mind. So you pull to a stop and turn off the music. You steel yourself for assistance or harassment, not wanting either. While you weren’t even aware you were taking one, your mental vacation is now over. And you wait for nothing to happen or for your life to change the way it has for so many others who thought it would not for them. Whether or not your blackness, your race as it were, will be a factor in what is to follow is not your decision alone. But rest assured that if and when you pull away and are back on that scenic route, the mental consequences of what could have happened because you are African American most certainly will be. And as great as he sounds, even Stevie’s melodious voice and beautiful lyrics can’t drown that out.
